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I have read many excellent posts related to ADD, but I haven’t found any that speak about ADD & illicit drugs, so I decided to share some of my experiences on this subject.

I was never officially diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, but I know I have it. I realized it after I read a few books dealing with ADD (Driven to Distraction is still my favourite). And discussing it with felow ADDers convinced me that I am definitely one with it.

After ADD was officially introduced in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, sales of prescription drugs that are given to people diagnosed with ADD increased by 600%! Enough said. So I don’t need any official “diagnosis”. I am smart enough to figure it out on my own after reading some excellent books on the subject.

If someone thinks that discussing ADD is not that “valid” if one has not been officially diagnosed with it by a professional, I respect that opinion. But I don’t support that view. Now that I made myself clear about my ADD, I shall proceed with my experience of mixing drugs with ADD…

Opiates: A magnet for any ADDer

ManyADDers share their love for opiates. Going out on a friday or saturday night? Alcohol is inevitable. And not just a few drinks. ADDers like to binge. In sufficient quantities, alcohol kills the feeling of nervousness and restlessness that is the result of the lack of dopamine that comes with ADD.

While I was a student, I basically couldn’t imagine going out on weekends without getting drunk. These days are long gone, but from time to time, I indulge in alcohol. Especially after long periods of work and not going out. I suppose that kind of behaviour will mostly disappear once my wife and me decide to have kids.

Anyway, during the day, I loved hitting bars with friends. And there was a period when I used to smoke a lot of marijuana. None of these past-times created any problems for me. I was as overflowing with energy as ever, working out regularly, studying well, and enjoyed life. Anyway, all went well for me until I made a dumb mistake.

Never ever take any drugs… especially the artificial ones

Let’s say that alcohol and marijuana are “natural” drugs. Alcohol is also a legal drug. But use any of these two in excessive amounts and you’re bound to have some problems, even serious ones. A word of caution here: Although I happened to enjoy smoking marijuana and getting drunk when I was a student, that doesn’t mean it’s fine, whether you are young or not, whether you have ADD or not. It is bad for your mental and physical health.

Now, overindulging in these “natural” drugs will bring severe health problems along. But having a joint or a few shots of your favourite liquor every now and then won’t do any damage to most of the people. A chemical, or artifical drug, on the other hand, can fuck you up immediately. Synthetic drugs are very dangerous. You never know what they’ll do with your brain and your body.

So I was in a relationship with this messed up girl. She was beautiful, wild, but had severe problems at home. And she used drugs to “deal” with these problems. Basically, all she wanted to do was keep her mind away from the issues that plagued her. She didn’t want to discuss them at all (one of the reasons we broke up after a very short-lived relationship).

She invited me to a rave party. Being a young ADDer, I decided to give it a shot, although this clearly wasn’t my idea of going out and having fun. Of course, she brought extacy with her. This was, and still is, a standard fare in any rave party. And she offered me the drug and I took it. What followed was one of the worst experiences in my whole life.

I was having hallucinations. I saw some white shapes come out of thin air, dancing around. Next thing I know, I was everwhelmed with anxiety, agony. I began banging on the floor with my hands in pure desperation. A friend of mine (who luckily attended the same party) calmed me down. I was still desperate. I began to imagine disastrous scenarious in my head and went pretty mad. My friend took me to his place, where I slept until I got enough rest to be able to collect myself.

Sleep didn’t help much. I was feeling screwed and unstable for the next two days. My aunt had invited me to lunch over at her place a few days before and I couldn’t avoid it. During the whole lunch, I kept my head down. I couldn’t look neither her nor my uncle in the eyes, because I knew my look would betray me. I had an insane look in my eyes.

On the third day, I was finally feeling better. I wolfed down two big lunch portions at the students’ cafeteria (hunger is usually a sign that your body is back to normal). I learned the hard way what I knew intuitively before: Never ever take any drugs, especially the artificial ones. However, things were far from over. I was going to feel the effects of the single piece of the damn drug I took for some time to come.

Nature heals

I year and a half has passed since my first and last run-in I ever had with the demon Extacy. And I was beginning to experience sudden bouts of anxiety. I couldn’t understand why this happened to me. All of a sudden, out of the blue, I would feel terrible. This had never happened to me before.

I always sought solutions to my problems on my own. So I decided to seek out help for these anxieties that were starting to worry me. All conventional methods being exhausted (I checked my thyroid gland for any anomalies, etc), I turned to traditional medicine, which I believe is as effective and valid as any western, modern methods. Sometimes even more effective.

I contacted a homeopath, which I heard was very skilled at her work. She listened to me longer and better than any doctor ever had. She bombarded me with questions, to be able to diagnose me as effectively as possible. Finally, she prescribed me a homeopathic medicine. I was in for a really interesting experience.

Homeopathic treatment is based on natural medicine and its goal is to restore balance to your body and your mind via these methods. For the natural medicine to be able to work without interference, one must store it away from any sources of radiation, sources of electrical current, etc. Which I did.

But one must also refrain from eating or using anything that could interfere with the medicine. That meant no artificial shit like sodas and candy, for example. No alcohol, of course! No deodorant, no shampoo, just plain soap and water!

The treatment lasted for a month and a half. It was not difficult for me to go through with it, because thanks to my ADD, I hyperfocused on it. It was kind of fun, as anything that requires much effort and discipline is for me - I am a person of extremes. And it worked. I never had any anxieties again.

Before and after my healing period, I also worked on focusing myself more. I used to drive my girlfriend (I was in a new, healthy relationship) crazy with not being able to listen to her properly or pay attention when I should. I made a huge effort to break through my ADD fog, by constantly coaching and forcing myself to pay attention. I also prayed and seeked for help from above (the power for prayer is enormous).

Guess what? My effort coupled with the homeopathic medicine took away one of the things that bothered me the most: Problems with reading caused by ADD. Before, when I was reading something, I could never focus properly on the subject at hand. Not only because my thoughts went away in a myriad of directions , but also because I couldn’t manage to visually focus on my reading material. I always saw through printed words, never being able to “catch” them with my eyes, to say so. It was horrible. And now I can read normally, believe it or not! I am still hyperactive, impulsive, I can easily get distracted, etc, but I can read normally!!!

The moral of the story is…

Never take any drugs. Never ever.

Also, you should know that extacy (aka MDMA) is a goddamn stimulant. It brings euphoria. And if you are an ADDer, you should know damn well that you definitely don’t need any additional stimuli!!! That’s also the reason why many ADDers love to get sloshed from time to time: Alcohol is a depressant.

If you need stimuli, find an activity with lots of adrenaline: enroll in a martial arts club, play fast, explosive games, listen to loud music, practice extreme sports, have loads of wild sex. Just don’t take any drugs. Even going out with your friends and getting drunk here and there is better than that. Because drugs can inflict severe damage to you in an instant.

Be strong, coach yourself, find an interesting job or a myriad of interesting activities. Fill your life with amazing people, amazing stuff and you’ll always be cool and OK.

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